Choose a peaceful room with a relaxing or uplifting atmosphere; certainly not a space screaming with busy zig zag patterns or garish color clashes. Color therapists tell us that jarring or harsh color vibrations can affect us even when our eyes are closed. Equally, do not work in a room which emanates a morbid feeling, perhaps as a result of being decorated in murky hues. Most therapists would agree that neutral colors or pastel shades are far more conducive to relaxation and healing. The majority opt for soft greens, blues, pinks or mauves. However, there are a few therapists who would disagree with the pastel theme, preferring a single uplifting hue such as sunshine yellow or a warm peach. But whatever the color scheme, do ensure that the room is spotlessly clean and uncluttered. It also needs to be very warm. It is surprisingly easy to become chilled when deeply relaxed, especially when the skin is coated in massage oil. Chilled muscles contract, causing a release of the stress hormone adrenalin, something you are trying to soothe away in the first place.
Give the massage in natural daylight if possible or under a soft lamp or candlelight. Harsh overhead lighting will remind you both of an operating theatre or a visit to the dentist! Even professional aromatherapists prefer to avoid too clinical a setting. Indeed, the healing power of aromatherapy stems from its ability to nurture all the senses, not just the sense of smell. A vase of fresh flowers, a potted plant or a bowl of fruit will enhance the healing space.
If you live in a noisy area, you may wish to block out background disturbance by playing relaxing music at low volume (the sense of hearing becomes especially acute when we are relaxed). Tapes or CDs of suitable music specially composed for relaxation or massage are available from good music shops, complementary therapy centers or New Age outlets. Although musical taste is highly subjective (just like our aroma preferences), specially composed music for relaxation has an unobtrusive air, a flowing quality whose rhythm deepens the relaxation response. If, however, your partner is one of the exceptional few who finds any form of music a distraction, do respect their wishes and turn it off.
The Massage Surface
Most professional aromatherapists use a purpose-built massage couch, which is ideal when doing a great deal of massage as it helps prevent back strain. However, it is more likely that you will have to work at floor level. Even though this can be hard work for the person giving the massage, it is actually better for the recipient because it will be easier for the giver of massage to apply beneficial pressure using their own body weight.
If you suffer from a weak back or poor muscle tone, but do not own a massage couch, it may be easier to give full-body massage on a solid wooden table - the old-fashioned farmhouse kitchen type is best. Ideally, it should be only a little wider than an average size single bed; otherwise it will be difficult to reach across in order to massage certain parts of the body. However, if you are very short or exceptionally tall, you may find that the table is at an awkward height. Professional couches are often custom built so that the top of the couch reaches to just below hip level.
Whether you are to give massage on the floor or on the kitchen table, a few blankets or perhaps a folded double-size duvet covered with towels will provide the necessary comfortable padding under your partner. You will also need one or two towels (a bath sheet is the best size) to place over your partner's body for warmth. It is necessary to expose only that part of the body you are massaging at the time. No matter what some of the glamorous massage manuals may indicate, professional massage therapists never leave a person completely uncovered, not only for reasons of warmth and modesty, but also because it can make the person feel vulnerable and isolated.
Massage can be given on a bed, but only if it has a firm mattress. If it is too soft, your partner will sink into it, and the mattress will absorb the beneficial pressure intended for their body. However, it is essential that you get on the bed and kneel beside your partner in order to carry out the massage, otherwise you will be forced to bend too much, which will cause discomfort to your back.
Similarly, when giving massage at floor level, never stand and bend from the waist. Apart from impeding the all-important flow of the massage, this will put an enormous strain on the lower back. Instead, kneel beside your partner. However, when giving back massage, some of the strokes can be performed whilst sitting astride your partner's thighs if you feel comfortable in this position. The floor space where you intend to give the massage should, ideally, be carpeted to protect your knees. Alternatively, cover the area with a thick rug or a couple of blankets.
The Massage Oil
Prepare a suitable massage oil for your partner's physical and emotional needs. You will need about 1 to l 1/2 dessertspoonfuls of oil for a full-body massage, perhaps more if your partner has very dry skin, a great deal of body hair or is very big. If you intend to massage only one part of the body, the face, feet or hands, for example, you should need no more than one teaspoonful of oil. Put the oil into an attractive dish and place nearby, taking care not to knock it over as you work.
